On this May the Fourth, 2017, we thought it was important to take a moment and consider what cricket could have looked like if the Star Wars gang had a team in the Galactic Republic. Here’s how we think it would look, in batting order:

1. SY SNOOTLES

Playing role: Top-order batsman

Batting style: Left-hand bat

Height: 165cms

Favourite Spartan Kit: Hurricane 5.0 Cricket Bat

The lead singer of the Max Rebo Band in her spare time, Sy Snootles also leads the team victory song in the changerooms. She provides harmony to the side at the top of the order. And every team needs a big opening number. What she lacks in height she makes up for in power with a technique the envy of the industry.

2. LANDO CALRISSIAN

Playing role Top-order batsman

Batting style Right-hand bat

Height: 178cms

Favourite Spartan Kit: Chris Gayle #TheBoss Cricket Bat

Bathed in swagger and charisma, Calrissian has the technique and elegance of Gordon Greenidge and the clean-hitting power of Chris Gayle. An imposing figure at the crease, he is the spark that leads the Spartan XI from the first ball of the innings. Occasionally criticised for taking unnecessary risks, much to his own detriment. His friendship with Han Solo in the middle-order is a key bond in the Spartan XI batting unit.

3. LUKE SKYWALKER

Playing role Top-order batsman

Batting style Left-hand bat

Height: 172cms

Favourite Spartan Kit: Sachin by Spartan Performance Range

The premier player in the Spartan XI top-order and a true student of his craft. An expert on cross-bat shots. A graduate of the expert tutelage provided by senior teammates Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi. Has overcome a serious injury to his left hand to reinvigorate his career. Is highly-regarded as the most accomplished swordsman in the side. Long identified as the future leader of the Spartan XI and often called upon to provide fight. Chooses to do so by letting his blade do the talking. Has honed his craft through some intense net battles with fast-bowling spearhead Darth Vader. Has a style, technique and appetite for success akin to Sachin Tendulkar.

4. BOBA FETT

Playing role Middle-order batsman

Batting style Right-hand bat

Height: 183cms

Favourite Spartan Kit: Dre Russ 2 Cricket Bat

Hugely popular with crowds but his place in the team has often been questioned in the inner sanctum with doubts over his allegiance to the leadership group. Fett is easily identified by fans by his trademark helmet. Suffered almost career ending injuries following a brutal encounter with firebrand opponent Jabba the Hutt early in his career. He has the key backing of Vader and his experience in the middle-order is somewhat underrated.

5. HAN SOLO

Playing role: Middle-order batsman

Batting style: Right-hand bat

Bowling style: Right-arm off-breaks

Height: 180cms

Favourite Spartan Kit: Michael Clarke Legacy Limited Edition Cricket Bat

The most flamboyant and cavalier player in the Spartan XI. Brings game-changing ability with his free spirit and ability to increase the tempo regardless of the attack he’s facing. Although considered to be slightly maverick in his approach, he has considerable leadership skills, exhibited by his work with the Millennium Falcon. Provides good team morale in the field and maintains a close bond with pace spearhead Chewbacca.

6. OBI-WAN KENOBI – Captain

Playing role: Middle-order batsman

Batting style: Right-hand bat

Height: 182cms

Favourite Spartan Kit: Diamond Players Edition Cricket Bat

Not the most gifted player in the side. In fact, on playing merit alone, some have argued he may not be worth a place in the side at all. But Kenobi brings leadership skills like no other. A key student of the game, there is no one else you want in the trenches when the fight is on. His calm head in a crisis is crucial for the Spartan XI. A master of his craft and a wise and respected leader of men, he has played a key role in developing Luke Skywalker’s game and tempering the unrest of polarising characters such as Dart Vader and Boba Fett. Often spoken about in the same ilk as Mike Brearley – chosen largely on his leadership skills alone.

7. YODA – Vice-Captain

Playing role: Wicket-keeper

Batting style: Right-hand bat

Height: 66cms

Favourite Spartan Kit: MSD 7 Wicket-keeping Gloves

The smallest player to ever represent the Spartan XI. A fan favourite due to his proven ability to punch well above his weight in a crisis. As the vice-captain of the side he provides crucial wisdom and expertise to captain Kenobi. A somewhat cryptic character, Yoda has taken young Skywalker under his wing and been the primary influence on his game. Much of the young Yoda style and temperament can be seen in Skywalker’s time at the crease. His batting remains a query with a major problem against the length ball, which is subsequently packaged as the short-ball, due to his height challenges. Yoda’s greatest asset though is his talk behind the stumps, although at times it is interpreted as somewhat puzzling by teammates and opposing batsmen. Can often be heard in the broadcast stump microphones applauding his bowlers with lines such as “no idea, he has”; “chin music, let’s have some” and his new trademark when keeping to Jar Jar Binks – “Jarry, Nice”

8. JAR JAR BINKS

Playing role: Allrounder

Batting style: Right-hand bat

Bowling style: Right-arm spin

Height: 196cms

Favourite Spartan Kit: Spartan MSD Camoflauge Cricket Bat

One of the tallest spin bowlers in the game, Binks is a bubbly, effervescent character with the ability to bring energy to the contest. A mystery bowler who’s stock delivery is the leg-break but has recently bamboozled batsmen around the empire with his wrong-un. Provides an attacking scoring option with the bat which resonates with fans. But it is his amusing relationship with wicketkeeper Yoda which has caught the attention of spectators, with crowds around the galaxy chanting his name and calling on Kenobi to throw him the ball with their cries of “Nice Jarry”

9. C-3PO

Playing role: Bowler

Batting style: Right-hand bat

Bowling style: Right-arm fast medium

Height: 173cms

Favourite Spartan Kit: Diamond Players Leg Guard Batting Pads

Underrated seamer with meticulous attention to detail. Lacks the pace of his new-ball counterparts but provides ample back-up when the second wave arrives. A line and length seamer with the most upright bowling action in the game. Some have labelled it robotic and mechanical by nature. Despite being one piece of solid gold bling, C-3PO is an unassuming type who goes about his work and is rarely flustered by the batsmen.

10. DARTH VADER

Playing role: Opening bowler

Batting style: Right-hand bat

Bowling style: Right-arm fast

Height: 188cms

Favourite Spartan Kit: Diamond Players Edition Batting Glove

Firebrand quick with a genuine dark side to his personality. Takes a no-nonsense approach when it comes to dismissing batsmen and can count most around the galaxy as his victims in a somewhat controversial career. Has honed his game as a marquee player in rebel leagues around the galaxy. Considered a divisive character in the team following titanic battles with Kenobi and Luke Skywalker in practice. Has a frosty relationship with the media who have long sought to unearth layers to his past. Holds strong leadership aspirations but his style has come under criticism. Can be lethal with the new-ball. Is a capable swordsman with the bat and capable of striking some decisive blows with his signature glowing red blade. Takes no chances at the crease and wears more protective equipment than anyone in the game.

11. CHEWBACCA

Playing role: Opening bowler

Batting style: Hopeless

Bowling style: Left-arm fast

Height: 228cms

Favourite Spartan Kit: Spartan Leather 4-Piece Cricket Ball

One of the most popular players in the game since he was promoted from the Wookie list on the recommendation of Han Solo. The tallest bowler in the galaxy and one half of an unusual but effective opening combination with Darth Vader. Gets good support in the field, especially from Han Solo who is often chirping away from cover-point when Chewbacca has the ball in hand, usually with one-line references to his considerable body hair issues. Has received numerous commercial opportunities from shampoo sponsors as a result. A quiet achiever who has cut sledging out of his game, largely due to his struggles with coherent banter with the batsmen, his frustrations and joy are rolled into one with the same audible groaning sound. Cannot bat to save himself. In fact, can’t even spell bat. The worst number 11 ever to play the game but a marketers dream with his flowing locks and unpredictable facial expressions – much like a galaxy version of Ishant Sharma.

12TH MAN – RS-D2

Playing role: Permanent 12th Man

Batting style: Impossible

Height: 109cms

Favourite Spartan Kit: Steel Limited Edition Wheel Bag

A fixture in Spartan squads throughout his life but still yet to make a starting XI debut. Most believe this will never eventuate due to the fact this droid has no arms at his disposal to either swing a bat or catch a ball. Nonetheless, with his cryptic beeping mode of communication, seemingly decipherable only by Luke Skywalker and C-3PO, R2-D2 is considered good for team morale. He is also pigeon-holed as the perfect 12th man due to his ability to glide across the turf and wheel drinks out to the middle of the ground.

 

 

 

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